RL008 overcoming your fears of writing
===
[00:00:00] When it comes to writing a book, aspiring authors often grapple with a variety of fears that can hinder their progress and creativity. Fear comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes. I've written multiple books and sold thousands of copies and still I face the same fears. So in this video, I want to look at how to overcome the [00:00:15] five most common fears that would be writer's face.
Let's discuss.
[00:00:30] Welcome to the Raw Leader. My name is Simon Holley. My aim is to help you get your message out by helping you to speak right, Coach or lead with less stress, more clarity and greater impact. Thank you for joining me today. We're looking at how to overcome your fear to become a [00:00:45] successful writer.
Now to that end, I've got a new coaching course launching soon to help new authors write their first book. So if you'd like to get on the wait list for that, head to the rawleader. com forward slash first book, and I'll send you details on that course. So you want to write a book, but you've got [00:01:00] all this fear.
Now, you need to know, I am not a trained psychologist. I'm not a trained counselor. So bear that in mind. Some of you may find as we look at these fears that they run pretty deep, actually, and impact multiple areas of your life. And if that's the case, you might want to seek professional help. But that said, [00:01:15] I have helped numbers of authors and other individuals overcome these fears just as simply as a practitioner.
So facing my own vulnerability of not being a professional counselor, here goes. The first fear is the classic fear of failure. Many writers worry that [00:01:30] their book won't meet their own expectations or the standards of others. The fear can be paralyzing and prevent them from even starting or certainly from completing their book.
The way to overcome this, I think, is to define what success means to you. [00:01:45] What is success when it comes to writing? What is success when it comes to publishing this book? Ultimately, that will be the measure that you internally use to decide if you succeeded or failed. When I start working with an author, I always ask them, What are your [00:02:00] goals?
My job as a coach is to help them set realistic goals. They might be financial goals. They might be the goals on the number of books sold, or there might be a goal around gaining credibility in their industry. ' What is that success for you when it comes to writing your [00:02:15] book? Well, I'd say when it comes to writing a book, the number one goal, maybe your only goal should be to get it finished, get it finished and get it published.
That is a huge success in my mind. So many people start books and never finish them. So many people dream [00:02:30] of writing a book and never write them. So if you get a book written, well done, that is a success. And you should consider yourself a success in, in, in every aspect of getting that done. It's a huge achievement.
Anything else on top of that is a bonus. ~The second goal, I think, should be just to help one person.~ I was talking to a new author the [00:02:45] other day, and we just started working together, and I asked him what his goal was, and he didn't have any financial goals. He said, you know what, if my book helps just one person, I'll be happy.
And I thought, brilliant, he's going to succeed. There's no need to for him to fear failure at all. Now you might say, well, [00:03:00] that goal is too small, small for me. I would ask, why is that too small a goal? You might not be happy with that goal, but I would question why it's too small a goal. He's totally happy with that goal.
~And I would wonder if you might also be happy with that goal.~ Helping people is such a key reason to write a book. So overcoming [00:03:15] your fear of failure starts with defining what a success look like and making sure that success is as much within your control as possible. The second, fear is the fear of rejection or criticism.
Writers fear receiving [00:03:30] negative feedback from readers, critics, or even friends and family members. And that fear can make them hesitant to share their work or to take risks with their writing. I think overcoming that fear, this fear, has got three parts. First, criticism is guaranteed in [00:03:45] all of life. There is always someone who won't like what you've done in any area of your life.
So you know, unless you do nothing at all, just sit on the couch consuming other people's content, watching TV, and even that will be criticized for because why are you wasting [00:04:00] your life? There's just no way to avoid criticism in life. It's just part of life. And we all have to learn to grow in resilience to that.
One of my books got a one star review because the person didn't like something about it. And that, it wasn't even true. Did [00:04:15] they even read the book? I don't think so. It's just not true. So the annoying thing about Amazon is you just can't change it. I wrote to Amazon and said, look, this isn't true. They're like, sorry.
The reality is criticism is going to come. And some of it will be true, and some of it won't [00:04:30] be true. And that's the other thing about this. So, what about the criticism that's not true? Well, what would I say, what would you say if I said, I hate the fact that you've got four ears? Now, I'm assuming that you don't have four ears, I think that's pretty unlikely.
But what would you say if I said, you know what, I hate the fact that [00:04:45] you've got four ears. I've always hated the fact that you've got four ears. Would it hurt your feelings? I don't think it would. You'd think to yourself, He's a bit weird. I don't have four ears. So, what happens in that case is, it doesn't hurt your feelings, you don't [00:05:00] get offended, you just think I'm a bit strange.
So if the criticism is not true, part of growing in resilience is to realise that and to say, well, it's really your problem, not mine. I, I haven't got four ears. This thing you've said about my book isn't true. So, therefore, [00:05:15] I know, I know not as easy as that. It still hurts. But there is something in growing resilience is to realize, well, this criticism isn't true.
And kind of it's more on you than it is on me. The second thing, though, is what if the criticism is true? The reality is, [00:05:30] it's likely that it's going to be part true. Sometimes it's not true at all, but there is a chance that it's going to be partly true.
Often there's a little bit of truth in there. Sometimes there's a lot of truth. What do you do then? Well then you ingest, you [00:05:45] improve, and you go again. That's how you overcome. This fear of criticism or rejection is recognizing the Pareto principle that 80 percent of your impact is going to come from 20 percent of your, your effort.
And you know what? Nothing's going to be [00:06:00] perfect. Nothing will ever achieve that perfection in status. So the third, Fear, it links to these, and all these fears, to be honest, are linked together. But the third fear is being seen as an imposter. Many writers struggle with feelings of inadequacy, the belief [00:06:15] that they're not real writers or they've got nothing to say.
They may feel like they're pretending or that their accomplishments are undeserved, despite evidence to the contrary. Even Mayor Angelou, who's , probably sold, I don't know, probably millions of copies of her books. She, she [00:06:30] said this, each time I write a book, every time I face that yellow pad, the challenge is so great.
I've written 11 books, but each time I think, uh oh, they're gonna find out now. I run a game on everybody and they're going to find me out. Well, lots to say on this. And, [00:06:45] uh, you're probably aware that I've written a guide on this. You can download it called dismantling imposter syndrome and get it at therawleader.
com forward slash imposter. But one of the keys that you'll see in this guide is the key to overcoming imposter syndrome, or one of them is to [00:07:00] track the help. What do I mean by that? Well, start to write down where you've actually helped people in the area that you're writing about. Ask people, how have I helped you?
And it's amazing, the power of this. And it goes back to the start, what's your goal? If your goal is to help people, then you've got [00:07:15] written evidence now that you have helped people, and it massively helps you overcome imposter syndrome, because it links to your goal, which is Your book wants to help people and you've shown that you have helped people.
~So anyway, you can get more on that, , imposter syndrome, , dismantling guide, , at therawlleader. com forward slash imposter. ~ The fourth fear, , is the fear of vulnerability. [00:07:30] Writing often requires authors delve into personal or emotional territory which can feel really exposing and uncomfortable.
You might fear being judged or misunderstood for sharing your innermost thoughts and [00:07:45] experiences. And this links to the last one again. It is a vulnerable thing to write a book, but you've also got to put it into the context of your whole life. Do you want to get to the end of your life, having this desire and this dream to write a book, but not having written [00:08:00] one?
What's gonna feel worse? There's fears to face either way. Part of facing one fear sometimes is also realizing that there isn't a reality where you don't face fear at all. All you're doing is deciding which fear you want to face. [00:08:15] Yes, it's vulnerable, but it's also vulnerable not to write a book. Think of the benefits.
Think of the feeling of achievement. Think of the fact that you can be a successful author. You can learn, you can grow through writing your book. You can help other people. [00:08:30] That's worth facing the vulnerability. There's fears either way, and part of overcoming fear is realizing it's just a case of choosing which fear are you going to face.
Part of this as well is realizing, and this is something that I had to realize, if you [00:08:45] take off, the fear I faced was if you take off the mask, no one's going to want to follow you. But the truth is, is it's because you take off the mask that people want to follow you? No one wants to follow a person wearing a mask.
People are inspired by [00:09:00] authenticity. And the last fear is the fear of the unknown. The publishing industry can be complex. It's unpredictable. It means that writers fear the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Questions about marketing, about distribution, about where this whole thing is going [00:09:15] can be really overwhelming.
And you overcome this fear by educating yourself. There is so much information out there on YouTube. I'm hoping also to help you can subscribe to my channel on YouTube and find, , I'll be adding resources so that the, the, the, the [00:09:30] unknown becomes less and less, but if you want more help, as I said at the beginning, I've got a new course coming out, , on writing your first book.
I'd love you to join me, the rule leader. com forward slash first book, if you want to hook into that course. So I hope that was helpful. And you enjoyed this [00:09:45] episode. Come on, let's get that book written. ~And you can also help me overcome my vulnerability by helping me get to 100 subscribers on YouTube. So thank you.~
~If you're listening on the podcast, and subscribe there as well or subscribe on the podcast.~ Anyway, thanks so much for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. See you in a future episode
[00:10:00] Yeah.
